By: Katelyn Tijerina
“A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it.” — George A. Moore
Beep, Beep. My alarm reminds me it is time to get up. The sheets beg me to stay. The warmth of the bed, the softness of the sheets, the fan whirs lazily above my head. I could just stay here… but no. I get out of bed and prepare myself for school. The windows let it cool light and the smell of warm coffee drifts through the house. Ready for school, I walk to the kitchen for breakfast. My wife looks up from her computer
“You took your time this morning” Eliza smiles
“The bed was just too comfy” I kiss her and sit down at our cracked wooden table. I’ve had this table since I moved here. There are food stains, cuts, and cracks, but it works just as well. I start digging into the eggs Eliza made.
“How’s that science project going?” I ask my son Dillian, who is sitting across from me
“It’s fine” he turns his attention back to inhaling his food. I finish eating and am headed out the door when I run into Sam, my other son.
“Can I borrow the car after school today?” he asks
“No, remember we’re having dinner with grandma today.”
“But I was going to hang out with Ryan.” Ryan is the girl he’s been all over. I think they both have crushes on each other but teenagers are rarely brave enough to express them.
“No,” I reply sternly. “We’re going to your grandmother’s”
“You can’t make me. I want to hang out with Ryan.” I roll my eyes but come up with a compromise.
“Why don’t you bring her?” He nods excitedly and starts walking away “Hey!” I call, stopping him.
“What?”
“I love you.”
He rolls his eyes at me but says “Love you too Mom.”
…
I get to the university and start unpacking my things. The room is pristine, newly cleaned, a vague scent of bleach lingers in the air. The floors are mopped and the blackboard is actually black today. I start sitting out my stuff, getting ready for the first lecture of the day. I stand up and begin:
“Good day everyone, I am Dr.Tijerina, and today we will be going over The Picture of Dorian Grey in relationship to the connotations of Victorian homosexuality and Oscar Wilde…” my class groans.
At the end of the lecture, my student Lily comes up to me “Thank you for helping me last week with my paper on biases in sampling in psychological studies. Do you think you could help me with another paper this week?” Lily asks me to look over pretty much every paper she has. It can be exhausting and tedious at times but the fact that she’s willing to put in so much work shows me that she listens to my advice and grows as a writer.
“Sure, let’s schedule.”
…
Later, I am diving into my research. I have been working on this paper for almost a decade now. I review my notes, color coding the passages. I know there is something I need, but I can’t find it. There is yet another piece of the puzzle to add. This is definitely not the first paper I’ve struggled with and it sure won’t be the last. I work for hours, sifting through sources. Academic papers, letters, and newspapers to add to my thesis. I get frustrated and stop for the day. I’ll figure it out eventually. For now, I’m just grateful I get to do what I love.
…
It’s 5:30 and we were supposed to leave half an hour ago. I have been ready since 4:30 p.m., but my family is chaotic to say the least. Eliza is half-dressed at this point; Dillian is on his video-games still, and Sam went to pick up Ryan. I run into Dillian’s room.
“C’mon, we have to go. What are you doing?”
“Give me 5 minutes.”
“No.” I turn his Xbox off and throw some clothes at him “Get changed.”
“Mom,” he says annoyedly, but I am already out the door. I run back to my room as Eliza is struggling to get her dress zipped up. It looks like she’s doing weird yoga poses trying to reach the zipper.
“Here baby.” I zip up the dress with ease “Are you almost ready?”
“Yup! Just gotta get my keys.”
“You look beautiful tonight.” I always make sure to stop and remind her. She blushes. I’m checking my watch again 5:45 p.m. I roll my eyes. Where is Sam? Sam should be pulling up any minute. I get a text from Evelyn, my daughter, that said she is already at Mom’s. I look out the window just as Sam is pulling out. He opens the door for Ryan; she gets out looking gorgeous. They really are a cute couple. I head back towards Dillian’s room, but we meet in the hallway. He is dressed. Thank God.
“Okay giddy-up,” I say to him. Eliza is already in the car ready to go as I’m rushing Sam out the door. It’s 6 p.m., and we are just now leaving. I go to close the door but give one look back. Clothes are thrown half hazzardlyy on the couch; one of the lights is still on; there’s mail on the counter, an umbrella in the hallway for some reason but it’s mine. I look in and think about when we first got Dillian two years ago. He was 15 then and so scared. I remember he walked around the house like it was made of glass. Soon he realized that we loved him, and he didn’t have to worry. He found his place and so has Sam in time. I get teary-eyed as I lock the door.
…
When we get to my mom’s, it’s about as chaotic as my house. There’s food burning on the oven, the smoke alarms going off, her cats keep tripping people. I hug mom and Evelyn. Evelyn moved out a year ago for college. She’s not too far away, about a six-hour drive across state borders but it’s so nice to see her. When we finally sit down I get to look at my family. My mom, in the house I got her, my lovely wife, my children. Every family, every job, every situation has it’s up’s and downs. When I am struggling with something I always like to think about how grateful I am to have these issues. I am grateful for a messy house because it means I have a family. I am grateful for a challenging job because it means I am learning. I am grateful for snotty children because it means they know they’re loved. This is it. This is what I worked so hard for. This is what it’s all about.
