Your Safe Now

By: Katelyn Tijerina

Kayden lays under his sheets in darkness with his eyes closed thinking. 

Why am I so unlovable?. I’ll never find anyone. I’m gonna die alone. So why postpone it? What do I even have going for me? My grades are terrible my social life terrible my love life is so far past rock bottom I can’t even see rock bottom.  I’m a terrible person with shitty skills and if I stay like this I’ll have to go to a horrific school anyway. He got up and went to the bathroom. He stared back at himself looking into his own grey eyes. If he hadn’t broken up with Ben the day before he might not’ve had these thoughts. The only reason he broke up with Ben is he’s starting depression medication and didn’t want to drag Ben down with him. He reaches up and opens the mirror. Behind it lay medication; pain relievers to be exact. I can’t live like this Shakily he poured the pills from the bottle onto his open sweaty hands. Who would even miss me? He filled a cup up with water.as he was about to tip his hand, to drop the pills, to send him into an eternal sleep his mother called from downstairs 

“Dinner,” Scared he dropped the pills into the sink and started bawling like a child. he slides down the wall and put his head between his knees. He was crying hard, his shoulders were shaking and hot tears burned their way down his face, his nose was running and he was panting. His mother came up worried he hadn’t come down, dinner was always his favorite. Her breath stopped. His mother found evaluating the scene. A pill bottle tipped over in the sink, pink half dissolved pills created dyes running to the drain, and a glass cracked on the floor, worst of all her son. Her shaking son sobbing on the bathroom floor. She didn’t have to ask. 

“Oh baby!” she cried and she sat down and cradled him. Which resulted in Kayden crying more fiercely. 

“Its okay honey, baby you’re okay” she wiped the tears from his face but he refused to look at her. She held his chin up and his whole body was still shaking. 

“Look at me” he looked at his mother’s deep green eyes and a tear fell from his face

“You’re alright, you’re safe” he hugged her like it was the first time he saw her. He didn’t move for what seemed like forever but he was safe now 

Note; September is suicide prevention month. Check-in with your friends and family, raise awareness and support mental health. For more information go to;

And to all of you who are struggling with mental illeness from the pandemic or just beacuse; Stay alive, we need you, we want you, and we hear you.

Picture from;

“Alone, Anorexia, Arm and Arm Cut – Image #743498 on Favim.Com.” Favim.Com, 2020, favim.com/image/743498/. Accessed 25 Sept. 2020.